


In Which Jim, Bones and Spock Get Their Act Together

by thehaikubandit



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: F/F, Fluff, M/M, Multi, drunken shopping adventures, not based at all no I would never ask out two people this way whaaaaattttt, technically underaged drinking cos America has a stupid drinking age and is weird
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 09:32:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8974351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehaikubandit/pseuds/thehaikubandit
Summary: A birthday fic for Ruby featuring a few of the academy adventures and misadventures of Spock, Kirk and Bones.





	

It was a running joke that Jim, Bones and Spock were clearly dating. And you had to admit that their friends had a point. Jim ended up staying over in the room the other two shared so often he had a not only a toothbrush there, but a whole wardrobe of his very own. He didn’t even know who his actual roommate was. If he wasn’t crashing with Bones and Spock, he could be found on Scotty’s couch.

Despite this, and the ridiculous amounts of sexual and romantic tension the three of them radiated, they were living in denial.

“Seriously,” insisted Jim, after it was brought up again one lunch time. “We’re just friends. All of us are friends. You’re my friend! See! Nothing going on here!”

“Sure,” said Uhura, eyebrow raised so high in disbelief she looked like she was the Vulcan at the table. “And I’m not sleeping with Gaila.”

Scotty spat his drink out in way that made Jim think of old cartoons and Spock’s ears turned a bright green. Gaila just grinned and winked at Uhura.

When they did eventually get their combined acts together three months later, there was one main event that caused it.

The event was a training simulation. Jim was in command of a group of five people, a supposed away team. They were taken hostage by Romulans. Jim managed to escape with the two younger students, both security track, but Spock and Bones were being held in their own cell. Jim and the other two students rounded a corner to find them both held with phasers to their heads. Jim held up his hand and signaled to stop.

“You will surrender,” said one of the Romulans. “Or we will kill these two.”

Jim surrendered. Supposedly. As he was being hauled back to a different cell he turned and beat the living shit out of the Romulan dragging him to the cell for daring to threaten his friends. He was shot with a phaser, and the simulation ended. Unsurprisingly he failed. Jim didn’t care.

That evening he curled up on Bones’ bed, with a face like thunder. Bones passed him a drink that he was only just on the wrong side of legal for. It didn’t help, but it was a start.

“Your behaviour was illogical,” Spock told him. “There was no need to resort to violence. We could have all escaped.”

“Shut up Spock,” said Bones. He said it more from habit than anything else. A fact that was confirmed when he next said.

“Jim, that was really god-damn stupid. What the hell’s wrong with you?”

Jim glared at both of them and took another sip of the bourbon and coke. Four glasses later he and Bones were both tipsy, and Jim was lying across Bones’ lap.

Spock sat on his own bed and watched them. Jim got the sense he was both amused and disapproving at the same time.

After what had happened earlier, not to mention the alcohol, and feeling happier now he was safe with the people he cared most for, Jim had a thought. Unfortunately for him, he didn’t manage to catch it before it left his mouth.

“We should all date.”

There was an awkward silence. Jim realised what he had said and hid inside his shirt.

“Did you just ask us out?” Bones asked him. The faint slur in his voice didn’t manage to cover the surprise in it.

“No,” mumbled Jim. “Why would I do that? It wasn’t me.”

Bones laughed at him.

“I would not be opposed to this idea.” Spock’s voice was as calm and level as it usually was, and managed to break through Jim’s inner monologue of “Oh no oh no oh no oh no what the fuck did I just do”.

He sat bolt upright, face still inside his shirt, and elbowed Bones by accident. Possibly in his side, but also possibly in his stomach. Jim wasn’t sure.

“What?” he asked, voice far more high pitched than normal. “You want to date us?”

“You’re the one who asked,” said Bones.

“No I didn’t.”

He emerged from his shirt of shame. Spock was watching him with one of his little smiles that were totally smiles, Jim didn’t care what anyone else said.

Bones shoved Jim completely off his lap, before saying “Well, I’m in if y’all are.”

“What?” said Jim again. He was still in a slight state of shock after a) apparently asking out his two best friends, and b) it having a positive outcome.

“Did you mean what you said?” asked Bones.

“Maybe.”

“You are the only one who has not given a clear yes to the suggestion,” said Spock. “Perhaps we should wait until the morning.”

Jim didn’t get much sleep that night. His internal panicked screaming kept him up more than any nightmares about the past usually did.

But the morning came, and Bones and Spock still seemed keen on the idea, and they accidentally found themselves in a relationship. The three of them were the only ones surprised by this.

The two main changes to dating were the increased physical intimacy, and, as part of that fact, that they now all officially shared a room and a new, large bed. Jim and Bones had always been rather handsy with each other, they just now got to take it further, and occasionally drag Spock into things.

One particular night, Jim and Bones fell asleep wrapped tight in each others’ arms. Spock lay to one side, meditating while they slept.

All was fine, until Jim began to have a dream. Unlike many of his usual dreams, Spock thought he sounded as though he was enjoying this one. Jim tossed and turned, restless, and this seemed to set off Bones. The two of them flailed around, fast asleep, and Spock edged further and further away from them, trying to maintain his concentration.

He did rather well he thought. But his concentration was finally broken when Jim accidentally pushed him off the bed and he landed on the floor with a thump. When Spock stood, both Jim and Bones were still sleeping, Jim now still, spread out like a star fish.

The following week they bought a different bed. It had a single bunk bed above the large queen sized mattress, so that Spock could mediate, and occasionally sleep in peace.

This turned out to be particularly helpful when Jim came down with a virulent strain of the flu.

Being Jim, he ignored the fact he was sick for as long as possible. It was only when he half collapsed during lunch that Bones and Spock finally gave up, and Spock physically carried him back to their room. Bones hypoed him into submission and sat with him so he couldn’t run away.

Having Bones as part of their trio meant Jim avoided a trip to medical. With his iron constitution, not to mention the fact he was able to have vaccinations without dying of anaphylactic shock, Bones was unlikely to fall sick. He patiently helped Jim to the bathroom when he needed to throw up, and forced him to try and keep down thin broths from the replicator.

Spock was equally unlikely to catch anything. This did not mean he was much use. After initially carrying Jim to the bed, Spock avoided him as much as he possibly could. He disliked being around people who were sick. It was far too messy for his tastes. He rested on the single bed as little as possible, and stayed in the library studying. He ran out of study and resorted to reading anything he could get his hands on in an excuse to avoid Jim.

By the time the flu had passed, Bones was tired and going stir crazy, and Spock had managed to read the entire works of Shakespeare. Twice.

This wasn’t to say that they never all slept in the same bed. Because that did happen. And they all took care of each other as well.

Spock was good at babysitting them when Bones and Jim had both been drinking.

“Bones,” slurred Jim. “Bonnnnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssss.”

“What?”

“We need to buy sauerkraut.”

“Jus’ use the replicator.”

“Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo, you don’t understand Bones. We gotta go buy it. I need it.”

“Fuck off I’m not movin’.”

“Going to buy sauerkraut in your current state seems most illogical,” said Spock.

“Ok, thas it, we’re goin’” said Bones.

“Yes!” shouted Jim, throwing his arms in the air in celebration.

Spock had been to a supermarket very few times in his life, and never at one in the morning with two drunk boyfriends. It was a fascinating experience.

Bones linked his arm through Spock’s, much to the Vulcan’s embarrassment and spent most of the trip giggling constantly. He didn’t actually want anything, he just wanted to annoy Spock. Jim had long ago given up on trying to understand how Bones flirted with Spock. From time to time Bones would unlink his arm so he could grab things of the shelves, seemingly at random.

Spock pushed the trolley. He used this chance to subtly put back the items Bones selected when he could. Some things were not to be argued with though, Bones nearly started yelling when Spock attempted to remove a whole watermelon from the trolley.

“Why would we use a whole watermelon?” asked Spock, trying to reason with him. “Surely a quarter or a half would be enough.”

“I’m allergic to watermelon,” Jim shouted from across the aisle with a grin.

“I want it,” said Bones. He was close to pouting, and Spock gave up.

He did manage to return the coloured pencils without incident, as well as the baby formula. He counted this a win and despaired slightly over what his life was becoming.

Jim found the sauerkraut eventually. Spock wasn’t sure why it had been so important, but apparently it was. Jim started to cry actual tears of joy. Bones dragged him in for a hug, and Spock made his only addition to the trolley. A second jar of sauerkraut. If it made Jim this happy to have one, Spock wanted to see if another would make him even happier. As odd as such open emotion was, it was nice when Jim was happy.

After finding the sauerkraut Jim was apparently done with shopping, but insisted on walking down every aisle, just so he could comment on why they might want a certain item.

“For a beach party!”

“I wanna eat it with a spoon!”

“What if we got a pet shark?”

Bones said nothing, only continued to giggle at things. And it was most certainly not a laugh, it was a high-pitched giggle, the sort Spock believed were common among small girls.

Bones added four more things to the trolley. Fish fingers, dog food, a broom and frozen corn. He didn’t pay much attention to them after they were in the trolley however, thanks to Jim’s distraction. Spock returned all four items.

Eventually they came to pay for the items.

“I got this!” Jim shouted, and pulled out a calculator. He tried to tap it on the card pad, and was shocked when it failed to work.

The poor store cashier looked like they wanted to be home, sleeping, far away from drunk cadets. Spock understood the feeling. He quietly pulled out his wallet, and paid for the groceries. Jim started to cry at this, but the cashier looked relieved.

They made it home without further incident.

Jim and Bones had painful heads on waking the following morning. After having a coffee, Jim decided he wanted to make a large fry-up for them all. He claimed it worked wonders. He stood in puzzlement, staring into the cupboard.

“Spock,” he asked. “Where did this food come from?”

Spock told him about the previous night.

“Sauerkraut?”

“Yes, it seemed to make you very happy.”

“Huh,” said Jim.

“Why is this so confusing?”

“Well,” replied Jim. “It’s just that I don’t like sauerkraut.”


End file.
